>Bartender Refuses To Acknowledge Patron’s Regular Status

DAYTON, OH—Hurley’s Pub bartender Don O’Hagan once again refused to acknowledge Henry Wells’ status as a regular patron, the disappointed customer reported Tuesday. “I’ve been coming here for nearly two years, and I don’t get so much as a nod of recognition when I sit down,” said Wells, who estimated he’s ordered a Bushmills with a splash of water from O’Hagan nearly 500 times. “I don’t expect this place to be like Cheers, I just think that I deserve be treated like a human being, is all.” Wells said he seriously considered not leaving a tip on his next round.

From the Onion

Should read:

Bartender Refuses To Acknowledge Patron’s

Regular Status

INDIANAPOLIS—Rock Bottom’s bartender Mary Q. Contrary once again refused to acknowledge MJ and Candys’ status as regular patrons, the disappointed customers reported Tuesday. “We’ve been coming here on Tuesdays for nearly two years, and I don’t get so much as a nod of recognition when I sit down,” said Candy, who estimated she’s ordered a wheat beer with a splash of salt on the coaster from Contrary nearly 500 times. “I don’t expect this place to be like Cheers, I just think that I deserve be treated like a human being, is all.” Candy said she seriously considered not leaving a tip on her next round.

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